Worst Relationship Mistake

"It’s not what you think!"

"This isn’t what it looks like!"

"It didn’t mean anything!"

"I have a sex addiction!" (Whooooa, what!?)

We all are familiar with these lines (well, o.k., not the last one so much). We have heard them in movies, on TV, and many of us may have had the dreadful experience of hearing them from our significant other after they have made the worst relationship mistake of their lives. And I must say, it is always what you think, it is always what it looks like, and it always means something to the person being cheated on.

Cheating, infidelity, getting caught with your pants down, gettin’ a little strange (whatever you want to call it) is by far the worst relationship mistake anyone can make. If you cheat not only will guilt overwhelm your entire being like you have never felt in your lifetime, but your partner’s heart will hurt like you have placed it in a vice grip and crushed beyond repair.

Maybe it was just a one time thing. Maybe they think it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t matter the damage is done, the trust is gone, and they are lucky if there is any chance of reparation. I don’t believe things can be worked out if one person cheats in a relationship. That is an utter deal breaker!

How can one grow to trust them again? Let’s say one person cheats and the other person, however reluctantly, decides to try to work it out, do we honestly think this can work? It will always be in the other persons mind. How could one not continually wonder where they are and what they doing (more importantly who with!)?

I once watched a Lifetime Movie called Sex, Lies, and Obsession starring Lisa Rinna (yes I am a Lifetime movie freak). It was about a wife that finds out her husband has a terrible “sex addiction” and he has slept with hundreds of women including prostitutes (the man was absolutely foul!). In the end (SPOILER ALERT!) they go to counseling and he goes to “rehab.” She stays with him! But through the whole process she questions his sincerity to “stay clean” (really?). Who would put themselves through this type of insanity? It was a good movie, but it was also a frightening reminder of something that I know I could never accept if it happened to me.

Sex addiction? I’m afraid not. It’s really quite simple; people do things because they want to. The single most important and most wonderful creations that is embedded in all of us is that we have free will. Everyday we make choices. People cheat because they want to. Just like a drinker, or smoker, or gambler; they do it because they want to. Period.

The worst part about infidelity, whether you’re the one cheating or you’re the one being cheated on, after the affair (unlike the “happy” ending in most movies) it is usually over after the other person finds out and both of you end up hurt and torn and never knowing what could have been.

If you feel like you may want to be with someone else, end your current relationship before you act on any temptations and make the worst relationship mistake ever. Whether you have been together for five months or five years; trust me it will hurt the both you a lot less if you close one door before even thinking about opening another.

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