She is the One

Dear Eda,

My problem is about 6 years ago I was in a very bad marriage to a woman who cheated on me. So we divorced and I moved to Florida. About a year later I met a wonderful woman and started a relationship which was great. The problem was I was still messed up from my failed marriage that I became a little bit of a liar to this new woman.

Well she left me and in a moment of weakness I took a bunch of pills and was put in the hospital. We both went our separate ways. Now after 5 years of being away and working on myself to become strong, I find myself still in love with this woman and I know she is the one. I have made contact but she is saying very little to me. She is single too.

How do I let her know that I’m still in love with her and prove to her that I’m not that man anymore I would love to start something again with her because she is the one and I’ve known it since day one; I was just too stupid to realize help me please...

Bill
Florida

Dear Bill,

A failed marriage where you were cheated on is enough to drive anyone to the brink of insanity. You find a new woman who is a perfect match for you before you are really ready to deal with it. Unfortunately, that’s usually how the story goes. The timing just never seems to be right. You begin a great relationship with this new person and feel that she is the one, but yet you haven’t had the time you need to heal from the first heartbreak let alone build on yourself. And then the inevitable happens; it ends.

So you went through a bad period in your life. It happens to the best of us. The point is you pulled through it and became a stronger person because of it. Five years is a long time to work on that. You obviously also have the confidence you need to have approached her after all this time. This takes a lot of courage and I commend you for that; you’re braver than many of us!

Don’t be discouraged that she isn’t opening up as quickly as you would like her to. She left you for her own reasons and when she did, you gobbled up a bunch of pills. Who can blame her for being a little hesitant in drudging up old feelings with you when were so unstable at the time she knew you inside and out (literally). No offense of course.

If you really still believe she is the one, take your time with this. Most importantly, give her the time she needs. Contact her and talk with her; hell even ask her on a date; but don’t dare throw your feelings of “she is the one” out there and expect her to seize them as if cupid has cast his amorous arrow upon her heart. It took you five years to work on yourself; it will take her some time as well to trust you again. You’re a different person now but so is she; you have to get to know each other all over again.

It is possible that she still has feelings for you; it’s possible that she didn’t want to leave you before but had to. It is also possible that she is afraid, and rightfully so. Just don’t get discouraged if her fear keeps her from getting to know the person you are now because this is also possible.

If you can say after all this time that she is the one and IF it will absolutely devastate you if she doesn’t eventually feel the same, maybe you still have some work to do on yourself. However, if you are willing to take the time to get to know each other again fully aware that she may not be “the one” and accept whatever it is she gives you whether it be friendship, love, or simply a lesson learned, then you have already won.

Our happiness does not depend upon another’s love for us; it depends upon our love for ourselves.
Eda

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