Past Issues

Dear Eda,

I feel like my past issues are affecting my current relationship, I've become overwhelmed. How can I gain control back and just relax and have fun with love?

Dear Ryan,

I really want to help you with your problem. However, I am going to need a little more information from you. First, what are your past issues? Second, how are they affecting your current relationship? Just be a little more specific so I can help you gain your control back and relax... We all deserve to have fun with love!

Eda

UPDATE

Dear Ryan,

Although I have not heard back from you with more details, I feel the need to address your issue because you asked for my help. So, based solely on the information you did provide to me, here is my advice:

You say that “my past issues” are affecting “my current relationship” and you are overwhelmed. Whatever issues you may have (trust, disrespect, treating people badly or it was done to you, infidelity) Hell, it could be one of any hundreds of things, but the fact that it (whatever it is) is interfering with the relationship your in now tells me that maybe you need to get out of this relationship.

When we have issues from our past that have not been dealt with, the relationship never works. Why? I know it sounds cliché, but it is so true that until we love ourselves, we can not love another. We may think we do and we may think that we are ready for a relationship; in reality we are looking for some one to make us feel complete. But, we can not be with someone until we are complete. And we have to be confident with ourselves that we can make it alone. Sometimes being alone for a while gives us the time we need and the strength to over power our issues. Leave this relationship; take the time you need to deal with your issues and get them out of the way. Only after you do this will you be able to just relax and enjoy love again.

Whatever these issues are, they are yours and yours alone; don’t make them someone else’s.
Eda

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