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Hes Still So Angry With MeAsk Eda...: My ex and I were together for 5yrs on and off. We lived together for 4 of those yrs and have a child together. We didnt have the greatest break up, but that was 3 yrs ago. During that time we both hurt one another, but in the end he ended up hurting myself and our child so much more. I am still very close with his family and speak to them often. During our time apart, hes dated and so have I, but we've gotten together a few times since. I want to try and get along for the sake of our child. The thing is he seems to hate me and have some serious anger towards me. I dont understand why this is!? If we've bothmoved on and no longer have feelings for one another, why cant we just try to be friends to better our child? Whats your take on why hes still so angry with me? I dont know how much longer I can continue like this. Its just not a healthy situation for our child!Karrie Dear Karrie, It’s always hard when you end a relationship and you have a child together. It is however a blessing that you are still close with his family. Ya know, when my ex and I ended our relationship, we had a slew of problems. We both harbored so much anger towards each other and it was very difficult trying to figure out what was best for our child. He hurt me, I hurt him, but in the end the only person we really hurt was our son (we even got together once or twice afterwards!). Of course, I didn’t have the benefit of still being close to his family because they were such enablers it literally made me sick to my stomach; everything was my fault. Finally, after nearly seven years, we are finally able to speak to each other with out blaming the other for our failures. My point is, maybe you and your ex have not reached that point where he can let go of his anger; hes still so angry with you for reasons beyond your control. More importantly, have you let go of yours? I can only guess as to why hes still so angry with you. He could still be in love with you but realizes he’s a fuck up and will never suffice; he could realize that you, although you will always care for him, will never want to be with him again. It could also be (which is usually the case) that he is so unhappy with himself and so frustrated with himself that the only thing he has left is to make everyone else in his life feel like shit; and who better than you? Right now you, and your child, are the perfect excuse to the reasons for his miserable life. The question Karrie, is not why he’s still so angry with you; it is how are you going to deal with his immaturities? You need to understand you don’t have to put up with his crap; neither does your child. You’re still close with his family so use that to your advantage. Refuse to deal with him at all. Ask his family to help you with transportation for visitation; don’t allow him to make you feel any worse than you already do. And by all means do NOT get together with him again! You don’t have to deal with him at all actually! If his family is there for you then they will be there for you. If they’re not, then ask your family. If you don’t have family to help, get the court involved! You don’t have to do this alone. And trust me, once he realizes you are no longer going to put up with his shit, he will start to let up (they always do!). As soon as you let him know that you are no longer worried about him and your main concern is your child, he will begin to realize the same. And ya know what? Even if he doesn’t (which some guys don’t), you don’t have to deal with it! You can only control you. If he wants to act like a jackass then let him! Just know you do not have to subject yourself or your child to it. Trust me, take a stand for yourself and your child. Who cares what he does? The minute you no longer care, he will begin to realize what a jerk he is (hopefully). And ya know what else? Even if hes still so angry with you after a couple more years, it won’t matter because you will be living the life you and your child were meant to live. And honestly, that’s all that matters! Worry about you and yours, that’s all you’ve got and that’s all that matters! Leave Hes Still so Angry, Return to Relationship Problem Advice |
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