He Hasnt Called

Hi, I met this guy through a mutual friend and we wrote each other through Facebook for about 3 months before meeting up for the first time last weekend. We live about 3.5 hours apart, so I went to his place and stayed for the weekend. We went into it as friends, but while there I felt like we had so much in common and we had so much fun that I developed feelings.

I stayed neutral while I was there and never let on that I felt that way. He gave me some vibes that he might've been feeling the same way, but nothing was said, and when I left he didn't try to kiss me or anything. I thought he might call me that night to make sure I got home ok, but he didn't. So the next day I called him just to thank him for a great weekend, etc. He acted friendly and like normal on the phone.

However, it's been almost a week and he hasnt called or emailed me. He commented on something I wrote on Facebook, but I didn't respond. I figure it's probably best to let him make the next communication move, but I'm wondering if he will. I'm ok with just being friends, but shouldn't a friend communicate more?

I'd like to be honest and ask what his thoughts are, but I don't know what the right thing to do is. So far I've just left things alone, but it's really hard for me to imagine not staying in touch after the great time we had together. What are your thoughts? Thanks!!

Jenna
Florida, United States

Dear Jenna,

While I am glad you had a great time with this guy, I think you’re looking a bit too much into it. So you talked on Facebook for three months and then you had a weekend together; it is certainly not the time to have “the talk” about where the two of you stand together.

Correct me if I’m wrong but you weren’t even intimate? He didn’t try to kiss you at all the whole time you were there? If he were the least bit interested in you sexually, you would not have left his house prior to him making some sort of move. If a man wants a woman, I mean really wants her and he has unlimited access to her in his house for a whole weekend, he does not let that opportunity slip away!

I am not trying to make you feel bad at all so please don’t take it that way. I just know men. For argument sake, let’s say he was interested and simply trying to be a perfect gentleman; he still would have at least kissed you goodbye.

As far as the friends thing goes, many people are “friends” but do not talk as often as they could or “should.” I think you really need to just play it cool. Don’t read too much into the fact that he hasnt called or he doesn’t comment enough on Facebook. Silence is the best motivator for some men.

If you start asking him about his thoughts or his feelings you’re going to scare him away before you even get started. Guys like cool girls. So just be cool. Don’t take offense because he’s not doing the things you think he should be doing.

I offer this suggestion, take the lead and ask him when the two of you can get together again. Don’t call; just send his a message on Facebook. It’s a new world and men can’t always be expected to make the first move. If he agrees and the two of you get together then go for that kiss yourself (only if you are getting the same vibes)!

If not, that’s o.k. too. Just enjoy yourself and never feel bad about yourself because he hasnt called. Chalk it off as his loss, not yours.

Good luck and feel free to keep me updated! I would love to hear how it goes…