Forbidden Love

Dear Eda,

I have been having problems with ladies all the time. Many fall in love with me but I have tried to love and failed. I love others who always disappoint me. Now I am in love with a chic who has a boyfriend; what can I do for myself?

Kyazze from Kampala, Uganda

Dear Kyazze,

It is not uncommon to have someone fall in love with us and not love them back. It is also a part of life to love those who only disappoint us. It is all a part of the journey of finding the one who we are meant to spend our lives with. It seems to make no sense to us at the time but everything happens for a reason. Every experience, every encounter we have, there is something to learn about ourselves, bringing us closer to find that which we are really looking for.

As to your current situation, falling for a girl who has a boyfriend is forbidden love. If you pursue this, you would be disrespecting both of them and quite possibly (actually more than likely) creating unnecessary drama in your life. How would you feel if someone were in love with your girlfriend? I have found that love is a mutual emotion. We can not love one that loves another, rather we find ourselves infatuated with the possibility. But this is someone else’s happiness, not yours.

You need to stop concentrating so much on finding love. It will come to you when the time is right. It’s almost inevitable that the more you obsess over finding love, the longer it will take to find you and you will always end up settling on “Miss Right Now” or “Miss I can’t have.” Don’t ever settle and don’t chase after something that isn’t yours; it’s a waist of time and energy. Concentrate on finding happiness in yourself and the things you want to accomplish. When you are happy with yourself and your life love, true love, will follow.

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