First Love Heartbreak

I have a question since this the first time I have fallen in love or I should say risen in love.

I know this girl since 6 months back and then we had very little conversation and then for the past 2 months we had not so long but good communication.2 weeks back it suddenly happened in me that I started feeling something wrong, I mean I was unable to concentrate on anything. Her events generated in my mind after every second. After struggling for a week or so I concluded it was love and I after few days told her the same (proposed).

I am a kind of a person who do not want other side to love me just because I love her (force her in love).I told her my feelings just to make heart lighter, and this is what I told her after proposing.

She didnt say anything at that time. I also thought that by telling her my feelings I will be able to concentrate on my work and will slowly forget her as I knew that she has no such type of feeling for me

After proposing her uptill know this the 10 th day we have had no chat, we have not met. She often comes on messenger but she do not ping and I also do not ping either.

Problem statement: I am not able to forget her, the harder I try to forget her the more she comes in my way. I even dont know that she loves me or not. I want that she should come up and say her feelings whether she loves me or not. I am ready for any answer but wants an answer. Question here is, after so many days gone by after proposing her will she come up with a reply? Is there anything in her for me? Even if there is a 'no' will she tell me that? How much time will I wait for an answer? Shall I assume its a 'no'? I have decided that I will not be calling her and asking her, her reply. If she is in love with me she will herself answer it.

I know these questions sounds stupid but they are like crowding my mind everyday. Can you just provide me with some tips on how to forget her. I really want to concentrate on my future.

love
India

Dear “love”,

A first love heartbreak can be devastating. Oh so many of us have had the painful experience of falling in love for the first time and that love not being returned. And I do feel for you. Don’t wait for an answer; unfortunately, she has already given it to you without saying a word. I think most would agree that you have gone and scared the poor girl a bit. I understand that you felt you had to get these feelings off of your chest and let them be known, however, you did not know her long enough to do so. Maybe if you had waited, say until you saw a sign that she might be falling for you, it could have turned out much differently.

Of course you can’t get her out of your mind now; you asked her, your first love, to marry you and she ran for the hills and didn’t even stop to pack her things. Rejection is one thing, but when we are completely ignored and left without any response at all, we lack closure. This is why you can not move on at this point, you poured your heart out to her and she refused to even take a sip of what you had to offer; not even a polite “no thanks.” She could have at least let you down easy; this is what most decent people would do.

So, what is it that I suggest you do? Contact her. Not to tell her how much you love her or that you can’t get her out of your mind; don’t even ask for an answer or she’ll start to question your sanity. But simply send her an email or a message on messenger; tell her, “I am sorry if I moved to quickly, I didn’t mean to scare you away” or something to that effect. And then leave it at that. You will have said all that needs to be said; she will either decide to contact you and open the communication or not. But you will be the bigger person and you will feel at least a little bit of closure.

If she doesn’t contact you I would say (1) she is not a very noble person and (2) she has no heart. However, you have an opportunity to at least walk away from this and learn from it. It’s a big, big world out there with many people in it; I am sure you will have these feelings again eventually and you will meet someone who will share them with you. Just remember, no experience is a bad experience if we grow from it.

Eda

Leave First Love Heartbreak, Return to Relationship Problem Advice