|
I Want My Family BackAsk Eda... I have a child with my ex, who I lived with for 4 yrs. Things got bad so i took my son and left him. Im still very close with his family and speak to his mom daily. Him and I still have a flirty relationship. He doesnt have much contact with his child and acts like he hates me most of the time. but he still calls me to hang out and for sex. He'll call and ask to come over after his sons in bed and he Even does this when hes dating someone. He knows I still care because we have a child together and were a family at one point, plus its been so long since I've had sex with him. Years later why is he still doing this to me? How can I move on like this? If he doesnt care for me, why not do this to someone where theres less drama involved and where he wouldnt be caught? Or is he doing this cause he still loves me? What should i do? I want my family back... JessManitoba Canada Dear Jess, You left a man who was terrible to you even though the two of you had a child together. That takes strength and courage; I know how hard that can be I’ve done it myself. You need to find that woman again! It’s obvious that this man cares nothing about his responsibilities and only cares about getting himself off. He’ll act like he hates your guts but yet come around for a booty call when he feels the urge? More importantly, he refuses to be involved with or spend time with his child? This guy is a self-fulfilling tool and he needs a serious reality check. But onto you… You ask, Why is he doing this to me? People only treat us how we allow them to treat us. He will continue to do these things to you for as long as you let him. Is it really that good? No sex is worth our sanity or our self respect; trust me. I know you say I want my family back and I can understand that. But he was not looking to settle down while he was with you, he’s not ready to settle down now, and from his actions it would be my guess that it will be a long long time before he is ready. So what do you do? You start worrying about you and your child. Are you where you want to be in life? If not, figure out what it is going to take to get there and do it. BY YOURSELF! He’s not helping and you don’t need his help. And you certainly don’t need him popping in (literally) once in a blue moon to remind you of every reason why you left him in the first place. Stop letting him walk all over you to get his needs fulfilled and start fulfilling your own; no one is going to do it for you. It’s time for you to take control; you have it in you, after all you already found the strength once. It’s still there you just need to tap into it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start getting pissed! I have had people ask me before How can you just walk away? For some reason I have always been the kind of person to easily walk away from something toxic. The first time is always the hardest and it’s not hard to get sucked back into the drama. But it gets easier as long as you stay true to yourself and don’t second guess yourself. More importantly, don’t let others influence you. Only you know what’s best for you and your child. As soon as you get over him maybe he will get over himself… Stay true, Leave I Want My Family Back, Return to Relationship Problem Advice |
When your relationship depends on it, you want someone who has the experience to help...
Not only do I have years of personal experience, I am also the advice columnist for the Sandusky Register
And...
Author of "Lessons I've Learned, No-Nonsense Advice on Relationships"
But don't take my word for it...
"I'm so grateful that you helped me put so many things in perspective... Thanks for being you, Eda! You really made such a difference to me when I was stressed and conflicted in basket case mode. I'm going to hang onto the advice your mom gave you too! Serious wisdom there! Certainly helps explain how you became so fabulous!" ~ Kathleen
"Hey, I can't thank you enough. I certainly didn't expect such a heartfelt response, and I sincerely hope what you said is right... Thank you so, so much." ~ Hannah
"Thank you so much for the advice. I have much to think about and I’m not so blind anymore. I think I’m going to take my time to heal… but thank you so much. It was very helpful and very insightful. From now on I’ll be sure to ask you my questions on love. Thank you." ~ TJ
"Just wanted to thank you for the advice. More and more I'm starting to realize maybe she is not "the one" and being with someone just because you have good rapport may not be a good foundation to build a relationship on..." ~ Jason
"I wanted to write to thank you so much for the great advice you gave in response to my question. I'd definitely love to keep you updated on the situation and continue to receive your input. Your answer made me feel much better about things..." ~ Jenna
New! Comments
Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.